Little Leah
by HighFiveMe
Summary: Nessie gets a lesson in "mean" from Leah. Canon Oneshot


**A drabble of a moment shared between Jacob, Leah and Nessie during BD's timeline**

I watched with only disgust as Jacob played with the little life sucker. Her parents were "busy." What a sick family dynamic. Two horny immortal teenagers + a fang baby + a sickly devoted werewolf= a sitcom so bizarre not even HBO would air it.

"You don't have to watch, Leah," Jacob said gently. He didn't want to make me go away, but he'd rather I didn't spoil his time with Little Leech.

"No, I really love watching you get gnawed by a vampire child while her parents get it on," I said dryly. In truth, I had no idea why I was watching two more imprints interact with a nauseating amount of fluff.

The kid furrowed her eyebrows together when I talked about her parents' love life. She put a tiny hand on Jacob's face. His eyes widened and he stammered, "Uh, uh, I have no idea what Leah means by get it on."

I put my face in my hands to muffle my laughter. I couldn't breathe. Jacob sent me the dirtiest look which made it even funnier.

"You don't miss a thing, kid, I'll give you that," I said to Baby Bloodsucker. She smiled a little at that.

"I really hate you sometimes," Jake muttered. So what if I corrupted the kid's innocence once in a while? It was bound to happen sooner or later with her "loving" family.

Then the kid frowned at Jacob and bit the hand that was holding her.

"Ow! Nessie, what was that for?" he asked. She put her hand back on his face. He looked at the kid strangely then at me. Then Jacob started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked wondering what that look meant.

"She's mad because I wasn't nice to you," Jake said. He beamed at the little life-sucker affectionately.

"Why me?" I asked, staring at the kid. She held out her hand, but I leaned away. No way am I going to let her brainwash me.

She frowned and spoke to me for the first time, "Why should he be allowed to be mean to you?"

I chuckled. "It's not like it's anything new."

The vampire looked down in thought. It probably hadn't occurred to her that people in the world would be purposefully mean to someone. Now I've taught the kid something about hate. Already more than her mother knows. Jacob should be grateful, but he was watching me warily like he thought he should remove the kid.

"People shouldn't be mean," the kid said slowly for clarification. Jacob nodded. "But sometimes they are."

"Right," I said.

"And you're okay with that?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Just the facts of life."

The kid nodded. "I think I get it. And even good people can be mean, right? Because my Jacob's the best person I know." Jacob smiled and pulled the giggling toddler in. She smiled at him, every tooth straight and white.

"Yeah, good people can be mean," I said. I kind of feel glad I'm telling her this. I don't want Jacob to be whipped by a Bella carbon-copy who doesn't know how to handle the bad things in life. Maybe I can try to help mold this girl into someone smarter, gentler with his heart. That way my eternity wouldn't be shared with a total slave to the imprint. I could make her bearable to be around. The kid was staring at me. She opened her mouth then closed it.

"Spit it out," I said. I didn't like it when people weren't up front with their feelings. Sam had tried to hide the imprint from me, and it had only made things worse.

"I still don't understand why people are mean to you though," the kid said, "If you're not mean."

I laughed. She thought I was good. "I've been wondering that myself," I said, "But it might be because I'm not so nice."

The kid (I refused to use that awful name Bella gave her. She should be grateful Jacob thought of a next to normal nickname) closed her mouth and got quiet. She was in deep thought. Jacob just gazed at her. I stuck out my tongue at him and lied back on the grass. The day was sunny enough and felt warm on my skin.

"Renesmee, hunt," Lady Lifesucker called. She and Mr. Mindstealer had finished up their business and wanted their kid back. Jake frowned.

"Five more minutes, Mama," the kid called with a tone I knew well from my own experiences with my mom. She would rather be with Jacob than Bella. It was a start.

"They suck face then blood then face then blood," I said, "Makes you wonder-what came first?"

The kid stood up and looked at me like she was struggling to comprehend something again. Then -in a most surprising act- she laughed. It was just a little laugh, but it was real. I smiled, and she did too. She knew she had done the right thing by me although I wondered why she cared at all. The little leech ran off and joined her parents.

"Good job, Leah, you taught a kid about hate," Jacob said.

"Better she learns it from me than someone else," I said. Jake shrugged.

"I guess. Just wondering though, is your goal to make her hate her parents?"

I laughed. "Not intentionally, but if that is a by-product to my admittedly hilarious commentary, so be it."

Jacob chuckled. I was so happy he'd never tell me what to do. I was actually looking forward to the next time I got to pass on some of my knowledge to her.

"She laughed at my joke," I said taking some pleasure from that.

"I know," Jacob groaned.

"Hang on to this one. She's got a sense of humor."

"Have your fun, but please don't turn her into a Little Leah."

I smiled wickedly at the thought. I imagined a fully grown Nessie with cropped curls and wearing a pair of my ratty shorts, giving her parents total hell, talking with a trucker's mouth, and using that vampire wit for excellently constructed insults. I laughed maliciously. If that happened, I would be cackling till the day I died.

"Better than a little Bella," I told him.


End file.
